How to begin this? Who would have thought that it would be this hard? There are times when it does not seem like you are gone. 4 years seems unrealistic. I know I was not the best daughter and sometimes I did things to get on your last nerve. But I appreciated everything that you ever did. I thank you for all that you taught me that took me a little longer to grasp and understand. I thank God for giving me you for the time that I was allowed. I can only hope that I am still making you proud! Happy Father’s day!
I have learned that it is hard to think effectively if there are a lot of other things going on. I used to be able to work though and be unphased. But some where down the line of my life, it changed.
If I am working on something, I can’t have side conversations happening. It is like there is a part of me that wants to go and close all the doors and place in headphones and zone out.
I tend to do that. I get so much done. But that is not productive in a work environment where you are the go to person. So are there days when I grin and bear it? Yes!
I have found that there are times when in my personal life I have a lot of clutter and things that make more noise then they need too. I try to have a small circle of people that I really deal with. I find it becoming smaller and smaller. I pray for the Lord not to seclude the wrong people but I can’t have emptiness and sadness over people and events. I know I will have to revisit this topic another time but I just know that it takes a lot for me to cut people and situations off.
That is why I do careful consideration before I do. Once I cut that switch off, it takes the grace of God (literally) to move for me to reconnect.